Dating Apps Are The Ghetto

It is officially a week since Valentine’s Day, and I have STILL not been made into anyone’s wife. I am fuming!

I am on a few dating apps and the convos I have been having or had are not cute.

As I am severely single as you should know from last week’s post and I have concluded that dating is the ghetto, and it is not fabulous.

Why do I say that you ask?


Firstly, I am a Tesco’s finest babes, and I am here to provide and serve future bae and these guys on these apps cannot seem to realise this.

Secondly, the guys on these apps have no game (not even Nintendo 64) and you can see the C+P job that they do on their messages. #original

Thirdly, they try to friendzone you when you ask what you are looking for. SIR, WHY ARE YOU ON A DATING APP? I want to DATE, not make friends. This is not Facebook.

Also, I am like Alton towers, there are height requirements. I am not a super tall babe but why are all the guys I come across 5ft 7?

It is really the lack of the game and the awful pictures for me. Like your profile is your CV, you need to make a good impression!

I am tired of small talk, tell me if you are in the process of healing? I have had enough talking stages, do you want to take me to one of those destinations once the borders have opened, or nah? It is not every 3 months, how many siblings do you have?

‘What do you do for fun?’ We are in lockdown, read the room – NOTHING IS FUN.

On your profile, you say you text back immediately, but you have left me on read for 72 hours. Make it make sense.

You say you say you like to go on walks and keep fit but the last time you ran was when it was 10.50 pm and ladies entered free before 11 pm.

Dating is the ghetto, and I am bored of these entanglements/unexciting talking stages and situationships. I just want to make it to the end and have a permanent bae.

I just like to meet a nice guy, with the good convo, we date, and you know we live socially distanced happily ever after.

What do you think of dating?

Let me know in the comments!

This Girl Can Write, A

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