Hey Everybody! (Hey Dr Nick, if you know you know) How is everyone? Sorry for the mini break on the blog, I had writers block. Lol who am I kidding, your girl has been on the 9 to 5 grind and I just haven’t been writing as much as I use too. Anyway, less of the excuses, I hope everyone reading this is well. This post will be about dating in general, my experience of dating and what actually consists of dating in 2016?
Firstly, let’s start off with a definition of what dating is. According to Wikipedia, dating is;
‘A stage of romantic and/or sexual relationships in humans whereby two or more people meet socially, possibly as friends or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in a more committed intimate relationship or marriage’. (Wikipedia, 2016) – That Harvard referencing though. In modern terms what does that mean? Basically boy meets girl, they link, catch feelings and decide whether they want to be official or just an FwB situation is the most basics of definitions.
Dating in 2016
Secondly, based with that definition in mind, what is classed as dating in 2016? That is such a contentious question these days. Is it the definition that I posted above? Does that mean getting to know each other? Does that mean talking? Does that mean physically going out on dates? Linking either sexually or non – sexually?. Personally I’d class dating as getting to know each other, talking often, seeing and enjoying others company and seeing what the other person can bring to the table. Let me just say, bringing a bucket hat, McDonald’s vouchers and a Soundcloud link to your new mixtape is not a valid contribution to the table. Smh. Likewise, bringing 28 inch Brazilian weave, 350 mins per month and sharing a bunk bed with your Insta friend is not a valid contribution. #justsaying
So let’s put a scenario out there. You met a guy/girl, they have a banging personality, look good (solid 7 out of 10), can communicate and have something going for them. Things are moving well, you have nice phone calls, have actual cute dates and you know you just get on. Some girls and mandem will be thinking they are my bae, before that exclusive talk. Trend of dating in 2016. Calling the guy or girl you’re seeing (Woz dat) your bae. Hashtagging #baegoals on every snap or tweet. Pulling out that bae card but is your babes/bae really your babes/bae?
You need to know someone properly before; you start saying you’re my bae. Saying he’s my day one when you’re on hour one. Haven’t even settled in the DM’s. Chill out bretha/sis. It’s not that deep. I could say that guy at Caffe Nero is bae cause he’s make my hot chocolate just how I like it every time I go there. People try to move too quickly when trying to establish a relationship and not let things flow naturally. This is kinda sad because you don’t appreciate the growth and bonding of 2 people, you just want to be GF and BF like yesterday or the opposite, just want sex straight away and not being in a relationship.
Following on from that nicely, another trend that dating in 2016 brings is how everyone wants a person who acts like a GF/BF, so expecting you to perform the duties of what an average girlfriend or boyfriend does without the title (Woz dat). That’s actually rude you know. Make sure, you think with your head, not your heart sometimes.#sensible When you catch feelings, it’s a hell of a thing trust me. Ladies and Gentlemen, please know your worth, don’t be putting in them hours and not really getting in return. You might find out that you’ve been a creamy mash wife/husband or plantain all along and you’ll never upgrade to the half chicken extra hot with all the sides and the bottomless drink. #stress.
(Please ladies and gentleman, don’t be looking like a creamy mash wife/husband #notcool). That’s called being taken advantage of and no one wants that. I always say react how the other person is acting but don’t be petty. Unless you’re certified GF or BF then you don’t do dem tings. Stay in your lane and wait for your upgrade or if you’re on a shitty deal like Vodafone and your upgrade never comes, then bounce b.
One free piece of advice I can give, is please don’t do drugs. No, but actually please don’t force feelings. A lot of people in 2016 are quick to say yeah *insert name here* is my ting and I really fell for him/her when he/she has A1 sex game and can buy you nice things. Superficial shiz. The only time I can condone forcing feelings is when you’re getting those ‘free’ trips to Dubai or Balenciaga’s then they can be your bae or sugar daddy, I mean man all they want.
(What a damn shame #youseeyourlife)
If you ain’t feeling the bretha or the girl, then TELL THEM. It’s not that hard. Don’t be afraid to talk up. People get accused of being savage but if you don’t like them, then you don’t. Plain and simple like ready salted crisps. It saves time, feelings and just stress. Girls and some guys are emotional creatures, and get hella stressed when they don’t know where they stand with people and they end up being friend zoned or realising what feelings they had for a person. You’ve got lips and a phone so you can let them know.
Like anyone cares. Anyhoo, so for me 2016 is the year that I wanted to find myself in a committed relationship #youloyal or start dating a little more seriously. However cuffing season has ended and I have not been drafted so we’re going to make that 2017 #newyeargoals, cause I didn’t get drafted and I took hella L’s this year but I have grown wiser in my various failed relationships with guys and situationships. It has been quite a learning curve for me and one that I am grateful for. I am one of those girls that is not good with feelings and emotions and I am quite late of those things, so when I do realise I have feelings for someone, they felt like they were wasting their time and have dipped. 🙁 #sorrynotsorry #teamsingle #spicyboysonly #lolanyguyswilldo
2016 has seen the rise of dating apps and websites. So through the persuasion of my friends’ #peerpressure, I did what most young people with a phone and an internet connection and downloaded Tinder.
Anyway you log in, make some banterous profile, add the only 10/10 pics #comecorrect and start your adventure of trying to find or secure a potential bae. My first impressions were, where’s the diversity bruv? Hella slacking. Then I was thinking maybe it’s the area, but I live in the Midlands which is a very diverse region and I live near a Uni campus so I know there is a mix of cultures and backgrounds, so diversity shouldn’t be a major key issue.
Once your profile is made, it’s amazing how you can start swiping left straight away (left means you don’t like them aka butters and right means you do like them aka peng). If you are a match, you can start a conversation with them. Tinder is mostly used for ‘hooking up’ (felt Americanised by writing that lol). So you begin to match people and realise they are some crazy people on the internet which result in extremes. Like those matches who want you to be your BF/GF yesterday and want to move in. Chill out fam, it’s really not that deep. I don’t think you’re on the right app anyway. You know my Tinder name not even my Government one and you want to be my wife/husband. That says to me that you need a 2 litre bottle of Sprite cause you’re hella thirsty. Seems like there is a drought on your end, cause you’re beyond parched. Not every match, ‘Hey handsome, beautiful, you’re my soulmate and the one I’ve been looking for. Erm nah (Michael Kyle voice). That’s tew much.
Then you get those matches that are like all dirty and sexual like how far is your nearest hotel? When am I going to see you and do tings? I don’t know what tings you speak of mate. You wot? Or my favourite line that has actually been used on me is – What is your favourite flower? I go Lilies (Guys take notes) and he said oh now I know what flowers to bring after I murder your pu**y. (Did he really think, I’d be like yeah sure, let’s link up and get it on. YOU MUST BE MAD?!) Like le fu*ck? That’s just out of order like the McDonald’s ice cream machine. KMT. Those sexual ones are tew much as well and they could be in your hometown for a night, trying to infect you with their STI or STD or dead game/bars. Allow it mate, I am nice.
Then you get those nice in between matches, so they are nice and friendly to talk too, have banter and actually want something out of Tinder not a girl who has MOT has expired or a guy who has beat bare yats . (Please read mrexpsd blog for more on that). Those ones are the best; they’re like that Pokémon that you could never catch on Pokémon Go. Why? Cause they are rare. Grab them with 2 hands mate. No but honestly, if you’re really feeling someone, you should try and speak to them outside the app *insert social media app here* and see where it can go. Try and not get yourself involved in a Catfish scenario and if you match and you don’t like it. Unmatch them and keep it moving. Who knows, you could actually find yourself in a proper relationship or a certified bae on there.
So as you can see from some of the points made above, dating in 2016 can be skressful but if you’re sensible, love yourself, truthful to yourself and your potential, can be loyal, honest and consistent (so that means none of that 99p flaky business) when the times arises, you’ll be all good. You can fish out the F boys and girls and find a person who deserves to be your bae and your SO. Take care people; it’s a cruel world out there.
There will be a Part 2, so look out for that!
Peace until next time, This Girl can Write A.